


Hogwarts, Actually

by cryden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Harry Potter Next Generation, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, So many cliches, also no homework gets done, and cliches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7682005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryden/pseuds/cryden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the heartwarming tale of six Pining Idiots who finally Get Their Shit Together before they die of Sexual Frustration. (Includes gratuitous use of Amortentia, cliches, and snow)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hogwarts, Actually

**Author's Note:**

> So this is all one story, but they're split up into different scenes, which I've titled obnoxiously to avoid confusion. Also, there is no underage in this fic because James is 17.

 

**Oh No He’s Hot**

 “Did you set up the air mattress in your room, James? Teddy’s getting here in a few minutes,” Harry talked to his oldest son distractedly, focusing on the stew under his wand. James ignored the twinge in his stomach that always came with thinking about Teddy.

“Already done,” he said and plopped down on the sofa, instantly jumping up when he heard the telltale sound of a door opening.

“You’re here!” He exclaimed, but his face fell when he saw who it actually was.

“I’m judging by your face that you were expecting someone else,” Victoire raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. James rolled his eyes but gave her a hug and smiled. She ruffled his hair good-naturedly and whispered in his ear.

“Teddy will be here soon, don’t worry.” He pushed away her hands and flattened down his hair again.

“I wasn’t asking, but okay.” She gave him a knowing look and dropped her bag at the door.

“Aunt Ginny! Your favorite niece is here!” She called. Ginny ran down the stairs in a swift flurry, enveloping Victoire in a tight hug. James was so occupied with his hair that he didn’t notice the door opening again.

“James!” Teddy was standing in the doorway, arms open and a smile splitting his face. James grinned and ran towards him.

“Here I was thinking you abandoned all of us,” He returned the embrace eagerly. Teddy’s arms tightened and _holy shit he’s buff._

“No, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me,” Teddy glanced down at James, suddenly aware at the reduced distance between them. “When did you get so tall?”

“When did you get so built?” James poked his chest and thoroughly enjoyed the blush that suddenly rose on the other boy’s face, clashing horribly with his turquoise hair. The same turquoise hair was slowly turning pink, much to James’ intrigue.

“Anyways, where are little Albus and Lily?” Teddy quickly changed the subject, desperately trying to will his hair back to the vibrant teal it usually was. James smirked at him knowingly and moved away from him.

“Albus is staying at Hogwarts over break to study for his OWLs.” Victoire pretended to gag and James giggled. A small girl with a large nest of red hair ran out of the kitchen excitedly, followed by a tired-but-happy Harry.

“And there’s Lily,” James finished, as Victoire swept her up in a bear hug. He waited patiently as everyone greeted each other animatedly and rocked back and forth on his feet.

“Where should I put my bags?” Teddy broke apart from the large huddle to talk to James.

“Upstairs in _our_ room.” When he emphasized _our,_ Teddy blushed tellingly, making James gleefully skip up the stairs.

 

**Rose Weasley, Professional Matchmaker**

“Why does he hurt me in this way?” Albus asked, looking imploringly up at the ceiling. Scorpius was walking towards them, his blue tie half undone and his shirt untucked. To Albus, he might as well have been shirtless and walking in slow motion.

“Can you two just bang and get it out of your systems?” Rose groaned.

“Yeah, no. He’d never think of me as more than a friend and anyways he’s-” Albus abruptly stopped talking as Scorpius reached them.

“Who’s what?” He looked confusedly between the two of them. Albus pursed his lips, turning to Rose, who smirked.

“We were just talking about James and how he’s obviously going to get together with Teddy,” she twirled an auburn curl around her finger. Scorpius snorted endearingly.

“That’s a given,” They all nodded. It was no secret that James and Teddy had been equally and obliviously pining after each other, and according to Victoire, things had only gotten worse since Teddy got back from Egypt and James had his growth spurt.

“Honestly, the sexual tension is getting ridiculous,” Rose rolled her eyes. Albus, who had yet to say anything, wrinkled his nose in disgust. Scorpius chuckled and pulled out his homework.

“Oh no, don’t tell me we’re turning this into a study session.” Albus groaned. His own homework was abandoned and he was propping his feet up on the library desk. Scorpius gave his scuffed up boots a Look and he reluctantly brought them down.

“Some of us want to pass our OWLs,” The Ravenclaw began writing studiously, ignoring the Slytherin boy’s pout.

“That’s fine, Rose will keep me company, won’t you, Rose?” Albus cast hopeful eyes at her, but was sorely disappointed when she brought out her Transfiguration essay. He pulled his History of Magic homework towards him.

“Fine, I’ll be productive.” He gave a long-suffering sigh.

 

**Rose Weasley, Actual Pining Idiot**

 “Rose, do you know who the Minister of Magic was during the 1752 Goblin Rebellion?” Albus asked. When he received no answer, he looked up. “Rose?”

She jumped and pretended that she hadn’t been staring at a certain girl.

“Uh, what?” She asked intelligently.

“Now who’s the pining one?” Albus surveyed her smugly.

“I’m not pining, per say, just watching,” Rose said, as she hid her face behind her Transfiguration textbook. Currently, the object of her affections was being almost unfairly attractive a couple feet away from her. The girl was Priya Patil, and in Rose’s eyes, she was the most beautiful human being to walk the earth. She had short blue hair so dark it was almost black and her eyes were large and expressive, nearly taking over her heart-shaped face. Currently, she was looking through the Charms shelf, her wand behind her ear, which was causing Rose great distress.

“She’s just so...you know?” Rose sighed. This was getting to be pathetic, and judging from Albus’ face, he agreed.

“ _You two should just bang it out of your systems_ ,” he mimicked.

“Don’t be a dick Al.” She leaned back in her chair, almost falling over when she accidentally made eye contact with the other girl, who gave her a small smile.

“I’m hurt,” he clasped a hand over his heart, “and here I was giving you sincere advice.”

“Seriously, Al, I can barely talk to her normally anymore. We’ve been friends for years! I don’t want to do anything to ruin that.” She messed up her frizzled red curls. Albus gave her a look of genuine sympathy.

“When did we get to be so...sad?” He asked as his gaze drifted to Scorpius again. He sighed lightly as the blonde boy chatted with Madam Pince.

“Honestly, I have no idea.” Rose returned her attention to her Transfiguration essay, pretending not to notice when Priya sat down at their table, although the tips of her ears tinged red.

 

**James Potter’s A+ Seduction Skills**

“Is anyone out here?” James called before stepping out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a small towel, much to Teddy’s chagrin. He had been sorting out some paperwork, minding his own business, before having his life ruined. Again. This time it was in the form of the half-naked, black-haired boy standing in the doorway. Teddy’s eyes followed a drop of water as it made it’s way down the other boy’s chest and disappeared down his suggestively low towel. James was watching him when he brought his eyes back to an appropriate level.

“Are you okay?” He walked over to Teddy with faux concern on his face. _That sly little bastard._

“Teddy, you’re not nervous, are you?” James smirked and stepped closer to the other man, his towel slipping ever so slightly down his hips.

“No-o.” His tone and bright pink hair betrayed him and he audibly swallowed. The younger boy’s smirk only grew wider and he got even closer. He stood up on his toes and lightly nipped Teddy’s ear before whispering.

“Unless that’s your wand in your front pocket, I think you’re lying,” he breathed. Teddy shuddered as his warm breath hit his ear. James dropped his towel entirely, making the other boy’s hair turn fuschia as he spluttered.

“James! What the fuck?!” He quickly covered his eyes and tried to block out the other boy’s raucous laughter.

“Oh my god you’re adorable. It’s fine Teddy, I’m wearing boxers.” The currently-pink-haired boy groaned and brought his hand down, still keeping his eyes on the ceiling.

“I’m going to go...do something...fuck...bye,” He quickly left the room, almost walking into the doorframe, inciting another round of laughs from James.

In the hallway bathroom, while he was biting his fist and trying not to think of James, he wondered exactly what the hell he was doing.

 

**Paper Dragons and Love Notes**

Rose watched the back of Priya’s head, fascinated by the sheen of the light on her glossy blue hair. She had stopped listening to Professor Binns a while ago in lieu of studying the other girl. She absentmindedly twirled her quill in her palm, startling when she suddenly found herself looking into eyes instead of hair.

“Do my eyes deceive me, or is Rose Granger-Weasley not paying attention during class?” Priya smirked back at her.

“Even I can’t listen to Binns drone on about magical politics in Luxembourg for an hour.” Rose rolled her eyes, still embarrassed to be caught staring.

“So she is human!” Pri grinned victoriously. She turned back to the front after another Gryffindor shushed her, but not without winking at Rose lavisciously. Rose smiled to herself. She started copying down notes, barely paying attention, when a piece of paper fluttered over to her. No, it flew towards her. It was folded to look like a dragon and it was hurriedly flapping its wings to stay in flight. Rose snatched it out of the air and unfolded it carefully. Inside was written:

_Your smile is like Expelliarmus. Simple but disarming._

Her face grew hot as she stared down at the scrawled writing. Priya glanced back at her and smiled quickly. Rose smoothed out the paper and wrote out a reply. She whispered a spell and folded it into a swan, which glided through the air and landed on Priya’s head. The other girl mouthed, _Really?_ , before reading the note, her lips quirked up.

_Did you trip me? Because I’m falling for you._

The rest of the class passed uneventfully, although Priya seemed strangely flustered. Rose stared out the window glumly. They might send each other flirtatious notes, but she knew they would never be more than friends.

 

**It’s Not Easy Being Green**

The Great Hall was filled with obnoxious chatter of all the fifth years staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. Rose and Scorpius were playing wizard chess in the corner, Scorpius glancing at Albus ever so often. To his surprise, he was talking to a Gryffindor, specifically Carter Thomas-Finnigan. Scorpius’ eyes narrowed as Carter moved closer to the other boy and said something that made him laugh.

“Unless you learned how to master wandless magic in the past day, I don’t think you can behead him by just looking at him.” Rose knocked over one of his bishops with her rook, making one side of the board cheer loudly. He feigned confusion.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, grimacing as the rook violently clubbed his bishop. He looked up and his stomach dropped at the sight of the two of them flirting. Carter was lean and he had unblemished toffee-colored skin, so it wasn’t a surprise that Albus was so taken with him. They did make a striking couple, he noticed grimly. Rose snapped in front of his face, making him jump and knock over a pawn, who shook its fist at him menacingly.

“For god’s sake, Scor. He wouldn’t be flirting with someone else if you would admit you liked him.” Rose told him accusingly, the chess game forgotten.

“I can’t do that,” Scorpius slumped down in the armchair, “We see each other almost every day. Imagine how awkward that would be if he didn’t feel the same and I made a complete fool out of myself.”

Rose looked at him sympathetically. Behind her, Carter was gently touching Albus’ arm and speaking to him earnestly. Scorpius slid down further, then perked up when he saw Albus shaking his head and walking back towards them.

“Who’s winning?” He perched on the arm of Scorpius’ chair.

“Me, obviously. Scor’s been distracted all night.” Rose said matter-of-factly. She moved her queen over two squares. “Checkmate.”

Scorpius watched amusedly as the queen sucker punched his king. He had a feeling Rose had enchanted this set to be more violent.

“Anyways, what are you doing over here?” Scorpius was careful not to look at Albus. “I thought you were seducing Carter.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Albus flush. This did nothing to ease the tangled knot that had settled in his stomach.

“No, nothing happened.” He shrugged.

“That’s a shame, he’s pretty fit.” Scorpius winced internally at the cold, unfeeling tone of his words. _Why couldn’t he stop talking?_ Rose glanced at him abruptly, clearly sharing his thoughts. This only flustered Albus further and he stammered out a response.

“Oh, I-I guess so. I could introduce you two if you want,” he said nonchalantly. Scorpius rose from the armchair. He felt sick and bitter all of a sudden, and didn’t want to chance saying anything he would regret.

“I’m kinda tired actually. I’m going to head back to the Ravenclaw common room.” Without waiting for a response, he left the Great Hall, trying not to focus on how hollow he felt when he saw the look on Albus’ face.

 

**Getting Together and Getting it On**

“You know, you’re really cute when your face gets all scrunched up like that,” came a sudden voice behind her.

“Shit, Pri, you scared me,” Rose glared before registering what she had said and felt her face heat up, “and anyways, I’m always cute.”

Pri grinned at her, in that way that made her heart beat too fast.

“That’s true.” Rose thanked her dark complexion for hiding her blush and continued writing her Potions essay. The other girl took that as a cue to poke her in the nose repeatedly. “What are you doing in the common room this late anyway?”

“Trying to figure out five different uses for moonstone by tomorrow,” Rose playfully swatted her away.

“But Roseee that’s so boring,” Pri draped herself over the other girl’s lap, “Entertain me.”

“You’re insufferable,” she blew a curl out of her face, trying to hide how flustered she was. Pri tugged at the curl, seemingly completely fascinated by her hair.

“Yeah, but it’s charming,”

"It really is," Rose tore her gaze away from the paper on the desk to meet Pri's eyes.

"Careful Granger, or I'm going to think you're falling for me." Pri smiled bitterly.

"Maybe I am." Her voice shook as she said the words but she resolutely kept Pri's gaze.

Pri's perpetual smirk faded, and she stared intently at Rose, tracing the redhead’s lips with her eyes. Rose heard a sharp intake of breath and saw deep brown eyes move impossibly closer. She felt a soft press of lips against hers and tasted Honeydukes chocolate before her train of thought stopped dead. Pri licked at her bottom lip, opening her mouth wider and shifting until she was straddling Rose’s lap.

They both sighed and gripped at each other desperately. Rose felt cold hands moving to her hips, slipping under the hem of her sweater. She gasped softly, but her breath was soon swallowed by the other girl, who took that as an opportunity to bite lightly at her lip. Rose gasped again, louder, and kissed her more intently. She whined when the other set of lips moved farther away from her, trying to follow the other girl’s mouth.

“Wait,” Pri breathed, “wait, is this okay?”

Rose chuckled and pecked her lightly, “Definitely.”

The blue-haired girl grinned wildly, her lips swollen and cheeks red.

“Well now that that’s settled,” she moved in again.

 

**She Has a Reputation**

When Rose woke up the next morning, she couldn’t stop a grin from rising to her face. It seemed impossible to consider that just last night she was making out with Pri. She closed her eyes for a moment and soaked in the feeling of complete contentment. She was just drifting off to sleep again, when the door to the girls dormitory opened. A couple of girls came in, gossiping obnoxiously loudly. She groaned quietly and rolled over to face the wall.

“I heard that Priya Patil didn’t get to the dormitory until late last night, _again_.” That was the voice of Amanda Davies. Rose frowned when she realized who they were talking about.

“Seriously? Who hasn’t she been with at this point?” A second, whinier voice complained. The rest of them gave various sounds of agreement. Rose felt her blood run cold at the implications of that.

“Did you get that book?” A third voice asked.

“Yeah, let’s head back.” Rose listened as all of them left the dormitories and slid out of her bed. Her good mood from earlier had dissipated quickly and she had an uncomfortable feeling in her throat.

She reluctantly made her way to the Great Hall, hoping to avoid Pri. She cringed when she saw the other girl wave her over excitedly and gingerly slid into the seat next to her.

“And how are you doing this fine morning?” Pri’s grin was almost blinding as she swung her feet under the table. Any other day, her unbridled enthusiasm would make Rose smile. But today, she grimaced and focused on pouring a glass of pumpkin juice.

“Good.” She said shortly. Pri stopped swinging her legs, and searched Rose’s face.

“Are you okay?” Rose gave her a quick nod. Pri looked unconvinced but she didn’t say anything further, until Rose gave a particularly hard stab to one of her strawberries.

“Rose,” she snapped, “Are you going to tell me why you’re pretending I don’t exist?”

“Why did you kiss me?” Pri’s eyes widened in surprise.

“What?” She had obviously not been expecting that question.

“You heard me. Am I just another girl you can check off your list?” Rose turned to face Pri, whose eyes had enlarged to comical proportions. She went to hold Rose’s hand, but hesitated and ran it through her hair.

“What the hell would make you think that?”

“I heard some girls talking about you, and apparently you have a reputation.” Rose tried to mask the hurt in her voice. Pri’s eyes hardened.

“They have no right-” she paused and took a deep breath, “but nevermind that. You’re special to me Rose. I’m just, gone for you.”

She maintained eye contact with Rose as she spoke. Rose felt relief wash over her and pecked Pri lightly, apologizing under her breath.

 

**Teddy Lupin Will Fuck You Up**

Teddy’s eyes narrowed as he read the texts James sent him:

 **(2:54 AM)** did smth stupid

 **(2:54 AM)** 6th n Willow

 **(2:55 AM)** pls help

_Fuck fuck fuck, this was not good._

He didn’t even bother changing before driving as fast as he could to the address James sent him. His heart was in his throat all the way there.

When he got to the street corner, he saw James swaying on his feet while a tall man stood a little too close to him. Teddy growled under his breath and parked haphazardly.

“James!” He ran towards the younger boy, who faced him blearily. The other man stared him down unpleasantly.

“Wot do you think yer doin’ mate?” he asked thickly, “I was talkin’ to him.”

Teddy backed him up into the brick wall behind him, eyes glittering menacingly. The man try to hide the fear in his eyes as he scowled up at Teddy. Teddy cracked his fists intimidatingly.

“You better get the fuck out of here, _mate_ , before I punch your fucking face in,” As the man stumbled away from them, he turned his attention back to James.

“Can you hear me?” James nodded. “We’re going to get you home, and after that I’m going to need you to tell me what happened. Okay?” Another nod.

 

**James and Teddy Star in a Soap Opera**

At home, he guided a much more sober James into their bedroom, making sure not to wake anyone else. After he fetched him a glass of water, he put on a much sterner expression.

“Now, do you want to tell me what the actual _fuck_ you were doing downtown at 3 am, completely hammered, and hanging out with a creep twice your age?”

James didn’t answer, choosing to sip his water and avoid Teddy’s accusing stare.

“I’m serious, James. I can’t even begin to understand why you would think that’s a good idea.” He steadily grew angrier, but tried to keep his voice down. “What if I hadn’t been available? Do you know what could have happened? No, because you never think about the consequences!”

James blinked slowly, his jaw tightening. For some reason, this made Teddy even madder.

“You’re so frustrating sometimes, you know that?” Teddy gritted his teeth. James stared at him silently. “Putting yourself in dangerous scenarios doesn’t make you more desirable or attractive, or whatever the hell you think this is doing!”

He swore violently and ran a hand through his angry scarlet hair.

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me when it’s you who can’t express his feelings properly!” James finally broke. His tearstained face looked up at Teddy with barely restrained anger. “This is your fault, not mi-”

His voice broke on the last word and he dragged a hand over his face.

“Godammit.” He was openly crying now, trying to hide his face from Teddy, whose hair was a deep, solemn blue-gray..

“James, I’m sorry,” he huffed, rubbing his temples. James let out a stifled sob and curled up on his bed. “I overreacted, I’m a dick.”

No response.

“Please talk to me.” He laid down beside James and gingerly laid a hand on his shoulder. James turned to face him, avoiding his eyes.

“I should apologize,” James began slowly, “I wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh, James no,” he gathered the other boy’s hands into his, “I was just so scared, and if something had happened to you...”

He drew the younger boy closer to his chest and tucked the head of jet black curls under his chin. As he murmured gently to the other boy, they drifted off into a troubled sleep together.

 

**Amortentia Causes Problems**

“Can anyone name this potion?” Professor Abbott gestured towards the cauldron at the front of the classroom. The potion inside was a pearly white and emitted swirls of pale smoke. Immediately, Scorpius raised his hand. The professor nodded at him.

“Amortentia. It’s a strong love potion, but different from other similar potions because it smells differently to each person, based on what they love,” he answered smoothly, earning an envious look from most of his classmates. The Slytherins and Ravenclaws were sitting on opposite sides of the classroom, with the exception of Scorpius and Albus, who were sitting next to each other.

“Precisely! Now do we have any volunteers who would like to share what this potion smells like to them?” When she saw no one raise their hand, she continued sternly, “I guess I’ll be forced to pick someone then.”

She glanced around the room, searching for her next victim and narrowed in on Albus, who was currently whispering to Scorpius.

“I see Mr. Potter has volunteered himself.” Albus blanched and shook his head hurriedly, “Come up, don’t give me that look.”

Albus unwillingly walked towards the cauldron, leaned over it and sniffed quickly. He instantly flushed, and returned to his spot, pointedly not looking at Scorpius.

“Would you like to share with the class?”

“Sure, um,” he cringed, “I guess it smelled like broom polish, treacle tart, and Scor-uh, i mean, scones. Blueberry scones. Yeah.” Professor Abbott watched curiously as Scorpius’ eyes widened fractionally.

“Thank you, Mr. Potter. Now, we will not be attempting to brew this, as it is a highly complex potion. Instead, I would like you to take out your notes on the Draught of Living Death. This is extremely common on the Potion OWL and we will be perfecting it today…”

 

**Amortentia Solves Problems**

“Albus? Are you in here?” Scorpius knocked on the dormitory door. He walked in when he didn’t hear an answer, finding Albus lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. He lifted his head when Scorpius walked in and propped himself up on his elbows.

“Hey, how did you get in here?" Albus quirked an eyebrow.

"Hanna let me in. She said you weren't feeling well." He plopped down on the bed next to Albus, who turned his face away.

“I’m fine, just...thinking.” They sat in silence for a few seconds until Scorpius gathered up the nerve to speak again.

“Spearmint toothpaste, old books, butterbeer, and your cologne.”

“What?” Albus looked at him questioningly.

“Those are all of the things I love.” Scorpius lifted the other boy’s chin until their eyes met, stormy gray and olive green.

“You mean…?” Albus murmured, their lips nearly touching. Scorpius answered him with a soft kiss. The smaller boy sighed into his mouth, while the blonde boy looped his arms around his waist.

“Scor…” he drew the other boy closer. Their mouths slotted together and the kiss intensified. Scorpius tangled one of his hands in Albus’ hair, tugging it softly. They drew away for breath, their air still mingling.

“So this is really happening,” Scorpius smiled brightly.

“Yeah,” Albus chuckled lightly, “I can’t believe it. Rose is going to be so smug.”

Their dreamy reverie was broken by the sound of a bell tolling. They broke apart with a start, Scorpius’ hand still caught in Albus’ tangled black curls.

“Fuck, my hand’s stuck,” he gave it an experimental tug while Albus started laughing.

“You can’t be serious.”

“It’s your fault! Why do you never brush your hair?” Scorpius glared at him. They stared at each other for a moment before collapsing into giggles.

“We should get to class.” The blonde boy carefully disentangled his hand from the other boy’s hair, earning a light peck on the nose. He tilted his head up and their lips met again.

They never did end up going to class.

 

**Boys, Interrupted**

Teddy woke up to the sun streaming on his face and black curls tickling his nose. He sneezed lightly, waking up the other other boy.

“Shit, shit, fuck, everything hurts. Where’s that fucking light coming from?” James mumbled. He burrowed his head under the covers. Teddy frowned as he remembered the events of the previous night.

“Are you in the mood to give me an explanation?” James groaned at the question. He sat up and blinked tiredly, his hair standing on end.

“It was really stupid, I’m sorry.” He averted his eyes. “I snuck out to go to this party, and while I was there I went a little overboard.”

At the disapproving look on Teddy’s face, he continued.

“At least I texted you instead of trying to get home by myself.” He argued weakly.

“Who was the guy?”

“Just some random creep.” Teddy nodded slowly.

“I won’t tell your parents.” When James started to thank him, he elaborated, “but I hope you know how irresponsible that was. And I don’t understand why you went and got drunk. It just seems like you’d be smarter than that.” James gave him a sour look.

“I wanted a distraction, okay? Dammit, Teddy!” He exploded. “I’m basically throwing myself at you and you keep acting like I’m some ignorant child!”

He stopped for a breath, not registering Teddy’s shocked expression or fire-hydrant-red hair.

“And I keep asking myself what I can do to make you understand that I’m in love with you! I, James Potter, am in love with you, Teddy Lupin, and just because you’re too stupid to-”

Teddy rushed at him all at once, effectively cutting him off, and kissed him suddenly. He backed James against the door, grinding against him and making his way down his jaw with his lips. James groaned especially loudly at a particularly hard nip on his jaw.

“I understand...completely,” Teddy growled, his hands roaming over James body, lifting him up by his thighs. His hands slid up until he was completely pressed against the other boy’s body and holding him up by his arse. James moaned into his mouth as his hands traveled up and down Teddy’s back. Teddy walked them over to the bed.

“Fuck,” He gasped as Teddy grinded into him again and mouthed at his jaw. They paused, hearts racing, as someone knocked on the door.

“Are you two decent?” Victoire’s snarky voice reached them. James untangled his legs from Teddy’s hips and hurriedly fixed his hair. Teddy willed his hair to green and adjusted his shirt.

“Yeah, come on in.” James cursed when his voice cracked tellingly. Victoire slowly opened the door, peeking at them with mischief in her blue eyes.

“Breakfast’s on the table,” She looked them up and down, taking in their blushes and dark bruises on their jaws, “but I can tell everyone that you two are still sleeping.”

As soon as she left, Teddy turned his attention back to James, who met him eagerly.

“I think that means we have some time. Although, it is weird that Vicky's the one facilitating all of this.” James gasped out, his attention quickly being taken by the other boy’s suddenly unclothed torso.

“Don’t let her hear you call her that.” Teddy chuckled, his hands roaming under James’ shirt as he pulled it over his head. They collapsed onto the bed and quickly lost the rest of their clothes.

 

**Wine and Dine**

“You’re such a nerd,” Pri snorted. Rose pretended to be affronted.

“Excuse me, but I’m the one who set up this entire date asshole.”

“Truly, the pinnacle of romance,” Pri deadpanned. She leaned back and stared up at the night sky. They were currently at the top of the Astronomy Tower, where Rose had spread multiple blankets and brought a picnic basket from the kitchens.

“I think this is the most cliche date I’ve been on,” she continued. When Rose looked down, she hastily added, “but I actually love it.”

They had abandoned the picnic a while ago, now content with sipping warm butterbeer and pointing out explicit constellations to each other.

“That one looks like a dick,” Rose pointed at a specific group of stars.

“Yeah I can see that.” Pri tilted her head, wrapping the blanket tighter around the both of them. “That one looks like a topless centaur.”

Rose frowned. “How?”

Pri traced the outline with her free hand, snickering all the while.

“See, there are the boobs, and there’s the tail.” Rose giggled and the other girl poked her nose.

“Why do you keep poking my nose?” She wrinkled it, making Pri boop it again.

“Because you’re just so darn cute.” Rose hid her face in Pri’s shoulder, making her coo. The redhead lifted her head and met the other girl’s lips in a short, sweet kiss. They deepened it, hands disappearing under clothes and skin being exposed to the cold night air.

 

**Yet Another Cliché First Date**

“You two have fun. Pri and I will meet you at the Three Broomsticks at five.” Rose winked at them and slung her arm around Pri’s waist, the two of them walking in the direction of Flourish & Blotts.

“Those two are insufferable,” Albus shook his head at them and walked in the opposite direction, interlocking his slim, brown hand with Scorpius’ pale one. The Ravenclaw looked down at him and  kissed him softly. Albus turned pink.

“What was that for?” He dimpled and squawked when Scorpius pecked both of his cheeks.

“You were being cute again.” Scorpius shrugged. He held back a laugh when he heard Albus mutter something about over-affectionate Ravenclaws. They strolled through Hogsmeade, no particular direction in mind, one of them occasionally pointing out something to the other. Scorpius shivered as it started snowing and drew his robes closer. Albus huddled against him and led both of them into the Apothecary. They sighed as they entered the warm shop.

“I need to get a new set of scales anyways,” Albus told him and they looked through the shop together. Scorpius was particularly fascinated by a carved pewter cauldron until the other boy dragged him away.

They shivered as the cold air hit them again. It was snowing heavily now, and Hogsmeade was blanketed in a layer of white. Scorpius smiled as flurries landed in Albus’ hair, forming a sharp contrast against the ink-black curls. He brushed the snow off the other boy’s head, but as soon as he had, more took its place.

“It’s hopeless.” Albus grabbed Scorpius’ hand again, unbothered by the sudden downpour of snowflakes. Scorpius rested his head against the other boy’s and hummed contentedly.

They went to Flourish and Blotts next, only after Albus made sure that Rose had left. Scorpius breathed in the familiar smell of ink and paper and relished the sounds of worn spines cracking open. Albus watched him with one eyebrow raised.

“This is like heaven to you Ravenclaws, isn’t it?”

“Mmm...pretty much.” Scorpius ran his hand along the bookshelves, sometimes taking out a book and flipping through it before putting it back.

“Do you want me to leave you two alone?” Albus asked as the blonde boy became especially entranced with a large novel. He poked his head out of it and looked down at the other boy sourly.

“Yes, you can go now.” Albus stuck his tongue at him, making Scorpius swoop in and kiss him again. He made an outraged sound but his hands moved to cup Scor’s jaw, betraying him.

“For fuck’s sake,” He spluttered when the other boy hummed and returned to his book.

“Is there a problem?” Scorpius asked innocently. Albus narrowed his eyes at him and pulled him out of the shop. They shuddered as they entered the frigid air again. Scorpius glanced at his watch.

“We should go meet Pri and Rose at the Three Broomsticks.” Scorpius reminded. Albus sighed reluctantly.

“I’m sure they won’t mind if we’re a little late.” He smirked mischievously and ducked into an alley between two shops, dragging Scorpius behind him.

 

**End Scene.**

Albus looked through the warm, inviting windows of the Three Broomsticks, searching for auburn curls and midnight-blue hair.

“Fuck, they’re already here,” he cursed.

“Well, obviously. We were delayed by _someone’s_ libido.” Scorpius pointed out.

“Like you’re complaining.” They shared a quick smile before steeling themselves and walking in. They were instantly confronted by Rose.

“Where the fuck were you two?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at them. Albus nervously looked up at her.

“We got distracted...with shopping?” The excuse sounded weak to his own ears and Scorpius cringed. She smirked and led them to their table, where Pri was already nursing a butterbeer.

“Nice of you two to join us.” It was almost terrifying how similar their smirks were. Rose sat back down and held the other girl’s hand on the table. They had spent the entire day at Hogsmeade strolling around. It had been pretty romantic until Pri took the opportunity to stuff a handful of snow down Rose’s hood, prompting a long and drawn out battle. Scorpius noticed their damp and bedraggled appearance.

“Did you two crawl through the snow to get here?” He asked. Pri snickered at the look on Rose’s face.

“No, Pri decided to have some fun with the snow, and I was forced to defend my honor, of course.” Rose explained.

“Of course.” Albus’ expression was entirely too superior for Rose’s taste. She opened her mouth to reply scathingly when she noticed two familiar figures walking into the pub.

“Oh my god…” She gaped, “Is that-?”

“What?” Albus turned around and choked. “Holy shit.”

Teddy and James were currently sitting at a table for two by the window, ignoring their drinks in favor of conversing quietly. Their heads were bent together, Teddy’s hair a calm lilac purple.

“Since when are they a thing?” Rose studied them closely. “This is definitely Victoire’s doing.”

All four of the individuals at the table were now staring, astounded, at Teddy and James, who hadn’t noticed them so far.

“Stop looking, or they’re going to see us.” Scorpius hissed. They all turned their attention back to their butterbeers, still glancing at the pair occasionally.

“This is a historic week,” Pri declared, as she raised her pint, “Cheers to everyone getting their shit together!”

They echoed her happily over the clink of the glasses, forgetting to be inconspicuous. Dissolving into laughter, they didn’t notice two shadows being cast over their table.

“Fancy seeing you all here.” Teddy grinned, an unwilling James beside him. They greeted him excitedly.

“So am I going to get an explanation for all this?” He pulled up a chair and looked pointedly at both couples.

“Um, I think we need to get an explanation for you two.” Rose challenged.

“Dammit, I knew we should’ve pretended that we didn’t see them,” James whispered under his breath, prompting laughs from the rest of the table. 

The sky darkened and the snowfall grew heavier, but through the golden, misted-over windows of the Three Broomsticks, the group couldn't care less.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to keep the rating at Teen unless someone tells me to change it because I physically cannot write smut. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome. (Please help me make this less trash)


End file.
